Best Friend

The other day I had a few moments of feeling sad for myself as I pondered the fact that at this point in my life I am no ones "best friend". (I know that I am my husbands best friend, but I am talking about girl friends now.)  Over the years, from earliest memories on, there was that one friend, out of all of them, that if asked "who is your best friend" would have replied with my name.

In my adult years, when we would move to a new location because of a job change, I would pray for a "best friend", a "kindred spirit"  and always, God provided.  So although it is embarrassing for me to confess that this best girlfriend relationship is important to me, it is.  As a matter of fact, relationships in general are very important to me, it seems to be the way that I am wired.  So anyway, life happens, and things change, and I think that currently there is no one that would call me their best friend, and I have had some sad moments thinking about this. However, as I was reading the other day, I came upon a familiar passage of scripture that really encouraged me and reminded me of how very blessed I am. Please humor me as I write the passage out in it's entirety.

"Eccl. 4:9-12 Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor. If one person falls the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble. And on a cold night, two people under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other, but how can one be warm alone. A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated but 2 can stand back to back and conquer".....Now at this point you are probably asking, "how does this help her to feel better?"  Keep reading ..... "Three are even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken!!!"


I am so blessed to have friendships that make up a multi-stranded cord. They provide me with constant support and encouragement. I am blessed with friends that love me unconditionally and truly value our relationship. I may not top someones best friend list at this point in my life and really that's OK, because I am part of a braid !!

Authentic Love

" I accept you as you are"
" I believe that you are valuable"
" I care when you hurt"
" I desire only what is best for you"
" I erase all offenses"

Could anyone resist being loved like this. Wouldn't you eventually be drawn to a love like this when you realized that it was real and authentic?

This real, authentic love is not shallow, It has what it takes to stay the course instead of looking for a way out. Running the other direction is simply not an option. It always opts for working through a situation, It doesn't bail out in the midst of a storm, it is tenuous and resilient.  This kind of love stands firm.

This is exactly the way the God loves me !!!  It is the way that He loves you.  Isn't that incredibly amazing ?
How can I resist it?  I can't, I succumb, I embrace it and because of it, I choose to love that same way.
I, of course, fail at times because I am flawed by sin but this will be my goal.
Remember today my friends that you are loved and because of that you are free to love in return.

Surrendering Self

It is so easy to get wrapped up playing the world's game of comparisons. It is all to easy to become compulsive in the need for approval especially if you are like me.  You see, one of my love languages is words of affirmation and subtly I can fall into the trap of measuring my value by how others perceive me or worse yet, how I think they perceive me. "Do they really like me, am I doing a good job at work, does my family really love me and on and on it goes.
All of these questions are fueled by insecurities and insecurities that go unchecked become self absorption. Gifts and talents are used more for human affirmation than worship of the gift giver. Trying to please others, measuring self worth based on praise and approval is exhausting and a sure fire path to disappointment.

The awesome thing is, and the thing that makes it possible to surrender self, is that God sees me through a lens called Jesus. Herein lies my true worth and when I really get a hold of that truth, I can make the most of opportunities to serve God without the need for human praise.  It's not always easy and I for one will always have to keep and eye on my old insecurities and reign them in when they show themselves. This journey is a constant "remembering" of what I know to be true. This I know... God loves me, He values me, He delights in me and the same is true for you so relax, let God use you and be thankful for the opportunity to do so.

Guard your heart

Proverbs 4:23 says "Above all else guard your heart".  Did you ever wonder why this is so important, I've thought about it off and on over the course of time and today I was reading "Soul Satisfaction" by Debra Evans and came upon what I think is one of the best explanations of the importance of guarding the heart. Let me share it with you.
"Over the years I learned that my heart holds the keys to revealing wonder and obscuring deception, transferring treasure and stockpiling venom, imparting love and absorbing evil......our hearts carry our most intimate histories, a life time ledger of passion and aggravation, gratitude and remorse, motives and meanings, rapture and loss.
Even though God has implanted an enduring desire for eternity in our hearts (Eccl 3:11), our earthbound status urges us to satisfy our soul's hunger with mirage-like substitutes. When we do, our deepest desires remain exasperatingly unfulfilled. We cannot find soul satisfaction- and by extension, our true identity, in anything or anyone but God.
It is easy to see how this all-too-familiar cycle starts spinning out of control: our lingering hunger propels us toward overdoing it -over-managing, over-eating, over-spending, over-nurturing, over-working, over-thinking, over-imagining, over-ministering, over-exercising, over-estimating, over-controlling, over-you name it.
Meanwhile our appetites stimulate our unfulfilled desire for gratification. So we end up wanting more. Once our hidden cravings receive enough pseudo nourishment and random reinforcement our desires grow more intense until, voila'.....

an impulsive sideways glance may unintentionally become a recurring thought pattern, which becomes a perceived need, which becomes a convincing rationale, which becomes a persistent focus, which becomes a routine habit, which becomes a fixated compulsion, which becomes and addictive dependency."


Does the subtlety of this hit you the way it did me?  It really got me thinking.....

Dream Big

Dream Big- there must be more...

It seems of late this concept of Big dreams, stepping out in faith and doing something big for God, or even just different, has been on the back burner of my mind.  I've decided that it's not mid-life because young people struggle with it too at times.

I want to do the things that count for Eternity, that's really what it comes down to.  I want to leave an unmistakable mark as a Christ follower and one who is deeply in love with My heavenly Father.

Somehow, getting up every day and going to the office, coming home to eat dinner and go to bed shortly after. doesn't fit the description of "making an impact".

But just the other day the question popped into my mind..."How do I know"?
How do I know that there isn't someone at work or a customer I talk to that will wonder what is different about me? How do I know that the wondering won't lead to questions asked, maybe not of me but someone else? How do I know that my kindness over the phone or in my home might be just what someone needed that was having a hard day?  How do I know?  I don't, but God does.

If it is true, and I believe that it is, that God has a plan and he is always working his plan, than I must believe that He will use my willing heart right where I am.

There is a lot to be said about being content in whatever our circumstances- Phillipians 4: 11,12. It is the heart attitude that God wants to see in me.  A heart of thankfulness for all I have and also a willingness to do more as He opens new doors.

So until then I will embrace the here and now as God's best for me, and be the best I can be right in the middle of my normal.

I guess I realize that if "dreaming big things" causes discontent then they probably are not God dreams but dreams of my own making.

Time...

Here we are nearing the end of September and I am wondering how this could possibly be!  I remember when my children were young, and I was a very busy stay at home Mom, I envisioned how the empty nest years would afford me the quiet  times that eluded me then.  Now, here I am , sort of empty nesting, and the quiet times still elude me.  I work full time and come home every evening to "reverse parenting"... so the only time it's really quiet is when I am sleeping !
It takes extended quiet for my mind to slow down and let go of the demands of the day. That is probably why I am not a very good blogger. The reality is that my life really does not allow those much needed long stretches of solitude.  It is the rare occasion that I can sit quietly and my mind can just breath, and I can think beyond the immediate.  When it happens I cherish it.  
But what I realize is that the reason my life is so full is because I am healthy enough to go to work everyday and I am blessed to have a job to go to.  That I have children and grandchildren that are happy to come and be with us and want us to be a part of their lives.  That I have a parent who is content to be here living in our home and it is a privilege to have her call our home hers.  The  truth is that my life is blessed!!  One day the quiet will set in and I will long for the days when my life was full of the people and things I loved.
So, thank you Lord for my busy life which makes the days pass so quickly and thank you for the past 45 minutes that were blissfully quiet.

" Freedom in Powerlessness"

I was reading this morning and this phrase jumped out at me on the pages of my book. So I started pondering this concept and how it relates to me and my life.

       You know those times when something is happening within a relationship or in the life of someone you love and you feel totally helpless?  
       You know that urge to step in and try to fix it or share some profound insight that they really "need to hear"?

       Well, I am thinking that those helpless moments should be our cue to step back a bit. Perhaps we need to see that the issue they are struggling with, the choices made or circumstances they are in, legitimately belong to them.

 To step in, try to fix it, offer advice or help not asked for, is like invading their space.  When we do this it can convey a fundamental lack of respect. Why??? Because in essence we may be saying "I don't think you can handle this, or you aren't handling this correctly, so let me tell you what you need to do" 

 By exercising some restraint, and giving them space we can let them know instead, " I respect you enough to believe that you can deal with this, I am here if you need me, you just need to ask".  I am thinking that silence is at times the greatest compliment we can give someone and it conveys that we have confidence in them.


When we accept our helplessness and in a way embrace it, we experience great freedom.  We relinquish the worry and the need for control to God.  We then can step back and watch as He works as only He can.
That is awesome Freedom.

Dear Messy Friend,

Life is hard sometimes...
Crazy, mixed up, messed up.

And there you are, in the middle of it all,
just doing your thing...


Being strong and brave and beautiful
like it's no big deal.

But let me tell you girl,  it is!


Not everyone can do what you can do.  Not everyone can handle things the way you can.

And while you wonder sometimes if you're doing OK......

The rest of us are just watching in wonder.

Psa.  31:24  Be strong and let your heart take courage, all  you who hope in the Lord.

Faith, Trust, Surrender

"Between the longings and the demand for their fulfillment is a place as real as any in the tangible world. But it is uncharted and uniquely tailored to your personal story" (Strong women, soft hearts)

As far back as I can remember I was taught that trusting God was all wrapped up in faith "Trust and Obey" is what I have known from childhood. But, really trusting, that place of resting is not as easy to do as singing a childhood song.

The need to trust  is never more evident than when you know the deep longings of your heart, you feel the pull of dreams unfulfilled and you are powerless to dictate or control the the timing or the realization of them.  It lies in first choosing and then accepting the particulars of when, how, where and IF God chooses to intervene.

It is a place called Surrender.  It is a good place, hard to get to sometimes but once there you understand that there is no better place to be.

My friend, do you have dreams or longings that you need to trust God with?  I am praying for you this morning.

Fork in the Road

The reality or the truth about a "messy life" is that it does not match what you dreamed way back when.  You envision certain things for your life and what actually plays out can look very different.  These circumstances, these unexpected happenings blind side us and are like invisible forks in the road.  They require deliberate choices to be made. Do we say "Oh well, such is life" and begin building protective walls so that we won't be hurt again or, do we breathe, grieve, and keep moving forward?  Do we choose to believe that God has a plan for us and that He wants us to live life to it's fullest, or do we become bitter and resentful?  Each "fork in the road" is really an opportunity for growth and change.  I would tend to build the wall of protection but within those walls we will live a  lonely emotional and spiritual existence.  God created us to live in relationship with others.
So instead choose to claim   Jeremiah 29:11     "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you" . This God of Israel is the same God today and He loves us with an everlasting love.  So today my friends let's choose  to breathe and live life to it's fullest.
I love each of you, and will be praying for you today.

One of a Kind

Hello Messy friends,
I want to remind you today that you are One-of-a-kind, Wonderful!
You started in the heart of God, were shaped by his hand and then given to the world as a precious gift.  As His daughter you are a bearer of His image. That means that there is a part of who God is, expressed through who you are!  That my friend is absolutely beautiful. It is a beauty that runs deep and can't be touched by time, and it is how God sees You.
I love that God sees the best in me.  I love that He knows my heart and understands it.  I love that He sees the beauty that lies within me and see all my potential, even when I do not.
Lord, help us today to be all that you created us to be.

I would love to hear from you and to pray for you so leave a comment.
Love you all !

Being small

 I read this excerpt in a devotional the other day and it struck a cord with me. As I ponder what the Lord has for me at this phase of my life, I sometimes feel very small and insignificant.  I get to feeling like my life has little impact on the world around me,  then God gives me these words to cause me to pause and be still because He cares.  
"Fall in love with the ordinary. Dare to believe that the minor details of your life matter to God. Dare to believe that you’re not a mistake. Besides, being ordinary and small may actually be evidence that God took extra time to make you that way.  Why?      Because being small sets you up to fit in places that big cannot.”

Thank you God for caring about us wherever we are in this journey. I adore you.

(Excerpt from One small barking dog:  Ed Gungor)

Because HE IS- I am

Because of Christ....

I am Forgiven **  Even if those I have hurt choose not to forgive me, even if I choose not to forgive myself,  God has, and that simply means that I am forgiven.

I am Loved **  In spite of the amount or depth of human love in my life or whether I feel loved,  I am Loved.  Whether I reach the mark or fail miserably, God still loves me...completely.

I am Understood**  Even if no one else "gets me"... God does.  I doesn't mean he always agrees but He always understands my heart.  He holds it, He owns it, and He has made it whole.

Reality

I read this yesterday in a book called Soul Satisfaction.  The Author is this poem is Frances Ridley Havergal who lived from 1839 - 1879.  I love when someones heart from so long ago has the capacity to touch mine. I just wanted to share it with you.

Reality, reality,
Lord Jesus Christ, Thou art to me!
From the Spectral mist and the driving clouds,
From the shifting shadows and the phantom crowds,
From unreal words and unreal lives,
Where truth with falsehood feebly strives.
From the passing away, the chance and change,
Flickerings, vanishings, swift and strange,
I turn to my glorious rest in Thee,
Who art the grand Reality!

Reality, reality,
In the brightest days Thou art to me!
Thou art the sunshine of my mirth;
Thou are the Heaven above my earth,
The spring of love of all my heart,
And the fountain of my song Thou art;
For dearer than the dearest now,
and better than the best art Thou,
Beloved Lord, in whom I see
Joy-giving, glad Reality.

Reality, reality,
In Thee is every type fulfilled;
In Thee is every yearning Stilled
For perfect beauty, truth and love;
For Thou art always far above
The grandest glimpse of our ideal;
Yet more and more we know Thee real,
And marvel more and more to see
Thine infinite Reality.

God Knows your name

It may be difficult for you to believe that God knows your name...but He does. Written on His hand. Spoken by His mouth. Whispered by His lips. Your name. You have captured the heart of God. He cannot bear to live without you. God's dream is to make you right with Him. And the path to the cross tells us exactly how far God will go to call us back. It is not our love for God: it is God's love for us in sending His Son to be the way. If you want to touch God's heart, use the nameHe loves to hear. Call Him "Father". He thinks you're wonderful! I have written your name on My hand. Isaiah 49:16 Excerpted from the Book, God Thinks You're Wonderful! by Max Lucado »

Messiness

An intimate relationship with Christ does not exempt us from messiness. Instead it helps us to accept those things that we cannot change and move forward.  Many times, if we allow it, those things that we cannot change help us to become the woman God desires us to be.

Where the "mess makers" in our lives leave us empty and insecure, God can fill our hearts with Hope, Joy and a sense of Gracious Generosity.

 1Corinthians 4:14 ff
We KNOW that the same God who raised our Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us....That is why we never give up....for our present troubles are quite small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasureably great glory that will last forever.  So we don't look at the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not seen yet.  The troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever.

Remember to move forward in hope, even while you are waiting.

Bridges and Walls

Proverbs 18:19 An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city.

As I was reading this morning, this particular verse jumped out at me like it was the first time I had read it.  I re-read it and re-read it and it struck a cord with me.  The questions that came to mind as I pondered this piece of wisdom are these. 
     

• How often do we, as Christ followers, offend in our zeal to stop or help someone on a path of sin or  self destruction? 

• How often does righteous indignation take the place of compassion and grace.  

• How often is the truth spoken, but not in love?

• Isn't a struggling brother or sister still a brother and sister?

• What is really the desired end result?   Restoration of Retribution?

I can't help but feel that where a bridge is burned a wall is built.

I have a good selection of Bibles. I think it's one of the many blessings of being a Christian in America. I do however, have a favorite. It is my study Bible and one of the things I would want to grab on the way out of my home if ever it were on fire.
You see, I am a "Bible marker". I underline, and write notes in my bible. After all these years it is a record of my life ,of sorts. My markings reflect the passages that have been precious to me over the years. God's words that did His intended work in my heart when I needed them most.

This year of 2010 our church leadership has challenged us to read through the book of Proverbs, 1 chapter a day (there are 31) every month for the entire year. We will read through the book 12 times by the end of the year. I am excited about this because the book of Proverbs has been such a source of teaching and encouragement to me over the years and through the various stages of my life.

Today I was reading chapter 3. Verses 3 and 4, (previously underlined), caught my attention anew.
"Let love and faithfulness never leave you, bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man."

Love and Faithfuless ! These are two attributes of God that are most precious to me. His Love for me and faithfulness to me, and those that I love, have been strong holds for me personally, and have largely shaped who I am today and how I view life. When life throws me a curve ball God's love and faithfulness remind me that there will always be an unchanging element in my life that I can cling to.

This passage of scripture is telling me to mirror my heavenly Father. That challenge is one that isn't easy for this imperfect person, but I truly want to be to God, and to the people in my life, what HE is to me.

If you have no bible reading plans for this new year how about reading Proverbs with your messy friends. That way we can share our hearts throughout the year via this blog.
Enjoy today and remember His Love and Faithfulness to each one of us.

So, Here we are.... Another new year has begun.
I was reminiscing yesterday about how often in those "growing Up" years that we wish to be somewhere in the future. We want to turn 5 and go to school, then we want to be in the double digits so 10 is a big birthday. Turning 13 and then 16 were milestones to look forward too. Then there was "I can't wait to graduate....get engaged...get married...have children and on it goes.
I have been blessed to see many milestones reached and it seems like yesterday when we had our first child. It's actually been 29 years, and we will soon have our 4th grandchild. I very rarely find myself wishing the days away for something out in the future. I am thankful for each day and the reality that with all the changes my life has seen, God has remained the same through it all.
I love this quote by St Augustine:
I Love you Lord- not doubtingly but with absolute certainty.
Your word beat upon my heart until I fell in love with you,
and now the universe and everything in it tells me to love you.
So in this New year the one wish I have for myself and all my Messy friends,
is to know and Love God even more.
Happy New Year my friends.