Just BE

It has been more than a month since I have written and it has been a very eventful month to say the least. Much has been happening in my immediate family and my messy friends family. The other week I was really struggling with a heavy heart and a sense of absolute helplessness over a specific situation. I was crying out to God asking Him a question that I have often asked in the past, "What would you have me do". In the midst of it all God calmed my spirit and I penned these thoughts.

When those unexpected, unwanted life storms enter my world, I want so much to DO something, or anything to fix it, or change it, or even better, make it go away. I have this need to DO something right away or even sooner if that were possible.
I think there must be an action or a word that will turn around a wayward heart or change a mind set on a destructive path. I want to DO something to open their eyes to the devastation of the choices they are making. I just want to DO! However, I think it is much better for me to allow God to work unhindered, by choosing just to BE.
To BE still and know, to BE quiet in the midst of the chaos and just listen. To BE there for a friend when they need me. To BE positive and supportive because her load is heavy enough. To BE a prayer warrior on her behalf and to BElieve that God (as He has always been) is much bigger than anything life throws at us.

Creator, Sustainer, My forever Defender Guardian, Provider, my Cleft in the rock The Beginning, the End and all in between MY SAVIOR, MY GOD, HE IS

I can just BE, because HE IS!

Messy Friends

Once again, it has been a long time since I've written. Thankfully the messy friends stay in touch better than we blog.

As I think back over the past couple of months of our lives it is no wonder that free moments to blog are at a premium. Between the three of us we have moved children both into new homes of their own or back into ours. We are awaiting the arrival of 2 unexpected but very much loved babies. The school year has begun-(two of us are teachers), there has been a marriage, one of us has moved an elderly parent out of their home and in with us. We await decisions by people in power that affect us directly, and we know the future holds uncharted waters for each of us.

I have also been reminded as I look back how precious my friendships with messy friends are. I actually have quite a fair amount of messy friends. These are those dear sisters whose lives are unpredictable, plagued by worry or fear of the unknown, and who are certainly less than perfect. However, their God, (MY God) is very predictable and trustworthy, the great comforter, the author of peace, the one who holds the future, the perfecter of our faith, and our HOPE.

The bond that we share is that the messiness of life draws us closer to our precious father and to each other.

So to all my dear messy friends, I'm thinking about you today and I am forever thankful for each and every one of you.

It's been quite awhile since I, or my messy friends, have taken the time to write.
Job, family, and the tyranny of the urgent, leave little time for extras.
So this week I was reminded of a thought, simple yet meaningful for me. It goes.....


Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply,
Speak Kindly, Forgive freely and
Leave the rest up to GOD.

This is good for me to remember when life gets "heavy",
the road seems "long",
and the future is "uncertain".

I love knowing that nothing is unknown to God.

Sandscapes

Yesterday, while cleaning one of the many piles that have accumulated over the past school year, I came across my 'Art in Motion - Sandscapes' purchase of last year. Inside a glass rectangular frame, tiny grains of colored sand pass through small holes, creating amazing scenes of peaks and valleys that shimmer in the sunlight. It was purchased with the idea that it would help my active four year old students relax and enjoy the shifting sand. But today, it was me enjoying the changing scenes. As I watched the shifting sand, one hole was inactive. Impatiently, I reached up and gave the case a couple of strong shakes, interfering with the gradual process. What followed was a scene very different from the others. Gone were the peaks and valleys with varying shades, replaced by a flat layer of sand. By stepping in to help, I had altered the course of the grains and eliminated the beauty and potential.

Often, I find this is what I do in my life. Rather than wait on the Lord, I rush in to help, only to find I have done more to hurt than to help. The peaks are breathtaking, but the valleys can be frightening and lonely. Trying to avoid the pain that can happen in the valley, my efforts are spent interfering with God's perfect plan. Rather than grow, I grumble. Rather than trust, I tremble. Rather than climbing for the peak, I am clamoring in the valley. Perhaps, if I stop interfering, I will see the mighty hand of God at work. Help me, Lord, to trust You when You say, "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth," Ps 46:10. Teach me to remember that those who "wait on the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not grow faint," Is 40:31. Then, when I pass through the valleys, rather than trying to interfere, I will be able to say with the Psalmist, "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of darkness, I will fear no evil, for You are with me, Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me," Ps 23:4.

What Lies Ahead ?

I have been singing for so long that it's a part of who I am. I sang my first solo in church at 5 years old.
(I can still sing the song ).

As I got older, God provided more and more opportunities. I was always so deliberate in choosing music to sing. I wouldn't sing about something that I hadn't experienced. It was important that I believed with all my heart the message that I was singing . In doing so, music became the vehicle that really enabled me to share my faith and my love for God.

So many times my love for singing made it easier to become involved each time we moved to a new area and started attending a new church. Music allowed me to share with greater passion than I could have with the spoken word. It really is the universal language.

Lately, I have been wondering if God has something else for me, some other way to share my heart. I know that I will always need to be able to tell others all that he has done for me. My heart will desire to pour courage into woman who may be going through hard times, and are in need of a messy friend.

If you read this will you pray for me? I am listening for that still small voice.

LOVE /luv/ n. a warm personal attachment or deep affection for another person

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE /un'ken dish' e nl luv/ n. to love no matter what

GRACE /gras/ n. God doing in and for us what we cannot do ourselves

God's love is ALWAYS a gracious love

Jesus loved to lavish grace on the left-out and the used-up and the put down. This is the way Christians are supposed to be...a group of rag dolls who have received love even though they know they didn't deserve it, who then extend it to others because they refuse to allow raggedness to keep them from loving. Because love is God's signature and grace makes love strong.

adapted from Living The God Life by John Ortberg

Comparisons

The other day I was having a conversation with a young friend of mine. In the course of our conversation she shared her struggle of not quite measuring up spiritually to other people in her life.

I've been thinking about that for the past few days. Isn't it something how often we are waylaid by comparing ourselves to other people.

Using other people as a barometer for our own spiritual condition is never good. There is only one standard given to us as a goal to aim towards and that is to be more like Christ.

Knowing that it is not possible to be sinless like Christ was, what does God desire from us?

We first have to consider what God has already done for us. God demonstrated His love for us by making the greatest of sacrifices. He gave His only son, Jesus to make a way for us to be forgiven and freed from sin. When that forgiveness is accepted, it not only secures a future in heaven, but makes it possible for us to have intimate fellowship with God.

Gods' love for us cost Him dearly and what he desires from us is much simpler, I believe, than we make it.

• I believe that God wants us to love Him and our relationship with Him more than anyone or anything else.

• I believe that he wants to be the first person we go to when we need a listening ear, someone to cry to, someone to pour our hearts out to.

• He wants to be part of the mundane, the everyday aspects of our lives.

• I believe that he desires obedience to His word, not out of fear, but out of love.

I have learned that He Loves me more deeply and completely than any human being is even capable of. He sees the very best in me, and he also sees the worst but He loves me still, because Jesus paid the price for it all.

The many examples that we find in scripture of humans greatly used by God, should in themselves remind us that God uses imperfect people. That is the beauty of Grace.

Comparing ourselves to others can only do one of two things. It will cause pride and a false sense of spiritual rightness, or it will cause discouragement and self loathing. Either way satan has won because when we focus on others or ourselves in this way, we have taken our eyes off of God.

This is the essence of our spiritual battle isn't it? What or who is the subject of our focus?

So don't fall into the trap of comparison. No two people will ever be at he same place in their spiritual walk. The important questions are:

• "Am I where God wants me to be"?
  
• "Am I walking with Him before me, behind, me and all around me" ?
• "Does my love for Him and His love for me impact the way that I live and the choices that I make"?

Look at yourself honestly but Not through someone elses lens.

Love is always worth the "risk"

Sometimes life is messy. Sometimes love is messy. Sometimes relationships are "one way." When we love someone who is in trouble, someone who needs to be rescued, there is often a high cost to be paid. The cost might include risking our comfortability. It might cost us our reputation. It might cause us to risk our sensibility. Is it worth the risk? Life change is always worth the risk. Love is always worth the risk.

(adapted from the sermon Monster in the Lake: "Risk" by Keith Walker)

Legacy

    I've been thinking a lot lately about legacies. My husbands father passed into eternity last week and he left a wonderful legacy. 

    At his funeral there were 4 generations of family members that were touched by his life. As a husband, father, father-in-law, uncle, grandfather and great grandfather he lived what he believed and he will be missed by us all.

    I look at my husband, and I am filled with thankfulness to this man that fathered him, and set a godly example for him to follow. I, my children, and my grandchildren are reaping the benefits of this father's job done well.

     Each of us will leave a legacy, our mark on the world, whether we try to or not.  It will affect generations.  This is a sobering thought and raises the question, "How shall we then live?"

Ephesians 4:1 encourages us to live a life worthy of the calling with which we have been called.

This is what my father in law did.  I pray that I will do the same.

NUGGETS

• CRISES- A God designed chance to grow.

• WORRY- Is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere.
  

• HAPPINESS- Comes by learning contentment.

• CONFIDENCE in God equals Courage.

• REALITY is never what we expect.

• PATIENCE- The capacity to be wronged and not retaliate.

• FAITH makes the "not yet" as real as the "already".

Don't get stuck on "why"........... it leads to worry
Lean on "Who".............................it encourages us to trust
Ask "What"...................................it gives purpose

Friend Therapy

Psychotherapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, humor therapy, hypnotherapy......

We are living in an age where you can find therapeutic help for just about any problem.
There is something in all of us that cries out not to be passed over, and yet it happens every day.

Life is busy, we have our own lives, pursuits, responsibilities and concerns. We can sit next to a person every day and hardly know them or even notice that they are there.

In Psalm 142:4 David cries out in a moment of extreme loneliness "no one cares for my soul".

I would venture to say that each one of us has felt like that at some point in our lives.

We were not created to do life alone. God made us in such a way that we need one another in this journey called life. I like to call it "Friend therapy" or
"one anotherness"

God has given us the wonderful privilege of expressing HIS love, concern and care to those who our lives touch.

So today I want to say "thank you" to all the wonderful women who have lovingly ministered to me through friend therapy, there are too many to mention by name.

I encourage anyone who reads this to be a friend today to anyone and everyone you come in contact with . Your smile or kind word could be a powerful tool that God uses in the life of someone who really needs encouragement.

You are never too busy to smile !

The Fear Factor

• This morning I was reading in the book of Mark about the betrayal of Jesus and the scattering of the disciples. It struck me...Satan has been using the fear factor for a long time. He uses fear to cause well meaning, dedicated followers of Jesus to change course, and at times, hide.

• The "unknown future" cripples us at times. We know in our heads that God is Sovereign and that he is all powerful, yet there are still those times when we doubt....Why?....we are afraid.
  

• As humans it is impossible to wrap our minds around the truth that "God is Able". There are no limitations to this. He is God, and He is exactly who and what the scriptures declare Him to be.

• This is where faith comes in. It takes faith to put your trust in something that you can't fully understand- even when you are afraid.

• Another thing that this passage of scripture reminded me of is that even though Jesus knew the betrayal and abandonment were coming, he still loved the disciples and accepted them back with open arms. He not only accepted them back but went on to do incredible things with and through them.

• What happened between the day of Jesus arrest and the eventual martyrs deaths that many of the disciples were victim to? Somewhere along the line they chose not to give in to the Fear Factor.

Sunrise, Sunset

I can't think of many things that surpass the brilliant beauty of a sunrise or a sunset. 

I've always loved watching the sunset after a long day, however, during the "great sadness" of my life, the sunrise took on a whole new meaning for me.

Lamentations 3:22-24 says: "The Unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His Faithfulness; HIS MERCIES BEGIN AFRESH EVERY MORNING.

I was awake to see many sunrises over that period of time and it became God's way of reminding me that He was there with me each new day,  Whatever the day held, He would take me through it.

Each day is a new beginning. There is nothing about the day that God is not already aware of. 

 I LOVE THAT !  I love knowing that the same God that causes the sun to rise and set also exerts the same power in my life.

Remember... at times you may feel lonely but you are never alone. 

Get Out of That Pit - Beth Moore

"Beloved, let this one sink in deeply; if God allowed you to be thrown into a pit, you weren't picked on; you were picked out. God entrusted that suffering to you because He has faith in you."

"When we are thrown into the pit by someone-- it can be most complicated to deal with emotionally and spiritually. We have someone to blame. The scenario has the capacity to eat us alive, but we know in the depths of our heart that it wasn't his/her intention. Pain can skew our thinking, but motives and intention mean a great deal to us. Knowing that he/she never meant to hurt us can lift us considerably in our ascent from the pit.

"When Satan bartends, he prefers to serve mixed drinks...cocktails of troubles. Take them one at a time, and you can keep walking straight. Mixed all together, they can send you reeling."

"Forgiveness is not passivity, dear one. It is power. It is not a covenant of weakness. The Christian experience is full of paradoxes. It takes far more strength and personal fortitude to fall on our knees and submit to God than stand and fight our endless battles for significance. Nothing demands more elbow grease than thrusting our arms forward and giving God the solitary right to vengeance."

Put your head on the chest of God and weep

God is near to the brokenhearted,
He helps those whose spirit is crushed.
Proverbs 14:10

Save me, O God: For the waters have risen up to my neck.
I sink in muddy depths and have no foothold;
I am swept into deep water, and the flood carries me away.
I am wearied with crying out, my throat is sore,
my eyes grow dim as I wait for God to help me.
Psalm 69:1-3

Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Matthew 5:4

Letting Go

    Letting Go is such a difficult concept to grasp and an even harder thing to do from a human perspective. 

 

Only when we see our circumstances in light of God's very nature, and his plans for us, are we even able to take the first step.

Letting Go of the anger, hurt,  betrayal, fear, the need for revenge, self righteousness or bitterness, is opposed to human nature.

When we are wounded by someone or something, our immediate REACTIONS are generally not God-directed.

It takes looking at the messes through "God's eyes", choosing to REMAIN in the very center of HIS Love to truly Let go.

For some of us it is most difficult to let go of the person or thing that we have been fighting so hard to hold on to.  We fear that if we loosen our grasp we may lose them forever.

Letting Go will look different in each situation but the end result is the same.

                            

Trust God to do the Holding

How do they do it?

I don't know how people make it through the hardships of life without being connected to God on a level that goes deeper than their circumstances. 

Where do they go for refuge, if not to the Rock? 

Where do they find rest for the present and hope for the future? 

Where do they find healing, if not from the Great Physician, or guidance, if not from the Gentle Shepherd?

I know that I would be lost without HIM.   He is my strength, my comfort, my hope and my joy.  He is my reason for being.  I cannot do life apart from Him.

Does that make me weak?  No, I believe it makes me wise and it keeps me humbled.

The Choice by Marion Bond West

We have to make a choice.

To live in despair, or joy.

To walk in fear, or in Faith.

To dwell under the shadow of the Almighty,

or reside in open spaces of self effort.

There is no in between place, no halfway house.

It's one way or the other.

Pity for ourselves, or compassion for others.

Lonliness or reaching out.

Joy and happiness are not even related.

Joy springs from deep within

 and has nothing to do with circumstances.

Jesus promised us Joy...

Happiness comes from without.

The inevitable

I am convinced that every person, if they live long enough, will experience difficult times.  Since we live in a imperfect world, surrounded by imperfect people, and are imperfect ourselves... hard times are inevitable.

There are situations that we find ourselves in because of our own choices. Sometimes it is the result of someone else's choices, and sometimes it is just life happening.

Ir-regardless of the causes, there will be turmoil, sadness, conflict and hurt, but for the believer there is always hope and healing.

God provides a "way of escape" so to speak.  He has offered to us a relationship that enables us to weather the storms of life, a way to be victorious in battle, and a way to grow in the midst of the struggles that have the potential to crush us.

It is like sitting in a car that has the capability of moving us from one place to another but... in order for this to happen we must put the key in the ignition, start it, put it into drive, and most importantly... Know our destination.

Crises

Over the course of the past week, we have learned that my father-in-law is coming towards the end of this life's journey. Cancer will be the vehicle which takes him from this life into the presence of his Lord and Savior.
Our "Pup", as we call him, is a wonderful Man. He has lived his life with Honesty and Integrity. He is loved by all that know him and the imprint he has made on our lives is unmistakable.
My husband gave him the news of his diagnosis on Tuesday evening. On Wednesday afternoon, He told us that a team of doctors also talked to him that morning. He said that after some tears, he had the opportunity to witness to all of them!! He gets it!!
A crises is described as "a critical situation, a decisive change in the course of a disease, Point of decision"
My father in law is in the midst of a crises, a point of decision, and he saw it as an opportunity to share Christ. This spoke volumes to me. It reminded me that there is life beyond the crises.

Perhaps a crises is better described as "a God designed chance to grow". Maybe it is the means to end...the end being that which counts for eternity.

Thank you Lord for Kenneth R Mauger and the impact he has had on me.

I Am

I have had this writing photocopied and in my Bible now for many years, long before my life got messy. It actually came from a calendar, it is powerful and comforting and I want to share it with you.

"I AM"
I AM the beginning of all things, the end of all things and in the midst of all things.
I was present at your birth; I will be there at the end of your years
and through all the days in between.
I AM ever present.

I AM not only the God of your past and your future,
But I AM also the God of your present moments.
All that I have been and will be, I AM to you now.

You do not have to look at the coming year and wonder how you will get through it
physically, emotionally, mentally, financially or spiritually.

I AM you life, health, strength and supply.
I AM your source, your confidence, your Victory.
I AM

Weaknesses

I've been thinking alot about this lately, maybe because my greatest weakness has been rearing it's ugly head.
We all have them, no one is exempt. Your weakness may be fear, worry, anger, insecurity, the need for approval, lust,..... and the list could go on infinitely. They are there, they are very real and they are very dangerous.
When we find ourselves in the center of a life storm, we are often at our weakest. This is when Satan takes every opportunity to move us farther and farther away from the very one who has the power to carry us through the storm. What does he use? Our weaknesses. He will take that weakness, as small as it may seem and use it to cause doubt which keeps us in a constant state of despair.
So what can we do? We need to build strongholds around our weaknesses. We can't wait for the weakness to go away, because it may never. Build strongholds-walls of protection, around that weakness, based on the truth of scripture.
What does scripture say about fear, worry, self worth and so on. Get out your Bible, find out, and then CLAIM IT!
The next time that weakness, with quiet persistence, tries to pervade your mind, there will be an impenetrable wall of truth protecting you.
That my friend, is the power of God's word. That at our weakest he can make us strong,

Caught In a Storm

Two years ago, I found myself standing on the threshold of a terrifying life storm. As the intensity and duration of this storm grew, grief and isolation became my daily companions. In the midst of my sadness, two dear friends came alongside of me. Since these precious ladies had faced their own frightening voyages through the storm, they were able to extend a compassion and an understanding that helped renew my strength and boost my courage. The reasons for our voyages on the dark and turbulent seas are unique. In the eyes of many, including our own, our lives are messy. I thank God for my messy friends, who loved me unconditionally and who refused to let me face the storm alone.

"The people who belong to the fraternity of grief and suffering can recognize each other, and the level of their empathy is unreachable. No one wants to undergo the initiation, but life often offers us no choice. Once you've been initiated, you become qualified to walk alongside others through their fiery ordeals. Having experienced God's help, I am able to reassure others God hasn't forgotten them but will provide His help and grace.

The suffering God walks us through--and He is with us all the way through--not only proves the sincerity of my love for God, but enables me to understand and empathize with the pain and grief of others. Even though sharing heartache with another person has a sad part, there is incredible joy in telling them about God's care through the darkness, His merciful rescue, and the grace that makes me a stronger, better person than I was before. Because I have been there, I can guarentee others God loves them, He has not abandoned them, He is in control, and He will bring them through their ordeal." from "When Storms Come," by C. Smith

Thank you, dear God, for blessing me with my "messy friends." Thank you that we can share life's burdens and life's joys together!

Labels

Messy Friend. Not a label anyone really chooses or seeks after, but a label that life can abruptly deliver. All three of us would have chosen any number of labels - loyal, faithful, dedicated friend - but not messy. And yet, in the midst of three separate storms in our three separate lives, messy became the bond that has held us together. That and our firm belief that God uses all things for His good and His glory.
So what is a messy friend? It is someone who loves you and stands with you in the midst of the storms in your life - never judging, always willing to listen, never saying I told you so, always believing that God is at work even if that work is unseen - faithfully praying and reminding you that God is in control.
Our storms were different, but for each of us, it was our storms that rocked our worlds and shattered the secure lives we thought we were living. We no longer had any control over our circumstances and needed the prayers and strength of those who truly understood the journey we found ourselves making. That is what God gave us. So here we are - the messy friends.

What are friends for?

I have two friends that I have known many many years. Over the past years ,our friendship has taken on a whole new dimension- that of "Messy friends". You see, each one of us has been through really tough times. We've experienced struggles and lived through circumstances that often leave other friends dumbfounded. Not so with the three of us. We have listened, laughed, cried, encouraged and loved each other through the ups and downs which have been, and at times still are, our lives. We are Messy Friends. We have seen each others messes and have grown to love each other more. Even better, is that we have grown to love our Savior and our Heavenly Father, sometimes more than words can express. When we get together our love and praise flow forth uninhibited because we know that each of us "gets it".
Our Beliefs have been tested and our GOD also. The truth is that He is forever faithful. He alone has the power to both calm and eventually overcome the turmoils of life. HE IS !!!
This blog will be a chance for us to share with whomever wishes to read it, the HOPE that is in Christ alone.